Why is it so hard to sit down and do absolutely nothing? With everything that still needs to be done and a to-do list as long as my arm, it feels like I can’t take a break until it’s finished. Like relaxing, sitting and reading, or playing a game is wasting time! Even taking the dogs for a walk turns into a task instead of something to be enjoyed. Even when I have a productive day, I find myself thinking about all the stuff I never finished.
When Everything Becomes a To-Do List
Trying to balance all the different tasks between work, home, pets, kids if you have them, and everyday responsibilities feels like it leaves little to no time for anything fun. Everything just turns into a responsibility. I feel like I am scheduling time for my passions with a checklist to complete during the allotted time. It turns them into obligations.
There is always this pressure to accomplish something new, and once you have accomplished it, you need to push harder and accomplish the next thing and the next. Suddenly, your passion is less of a passion and more of another job that you didn’t ask for.
I am working on learning that being constantly busy and being fulfilled aren’t really the same thing. I am very good at staying busy; my home redo shows that, but I never feel fully rested or fulfilled with these projects. I enjoy them for a while, but even in the midst of a project, I am thinking of my next project, and the next. Never any time to just sit and relax.
Learning to Rest Without Guilt
I am trying to learn that I can rest and enjoy what I am working on currently without constantly thinking about the future. I can take breaks without feeling bad about it. I am learning to talk to myself more kindly, and instead of focusing on everything I didn’t do, I am focusing on what I did accomplish.
There are so many things that I start that turn into projects, just little hobbies that all of a sudden become these major things that I want to turn into something. Not everything I do needs to become a big thing.
This is definitely not perfect; I am still working on this. There are still some days when I feel the need to be busy all day, and I take no breaks, but that’s okay. I am working on myself every day to work towards the things I want without either burning myself out or feeling like I am not doing enough, with no in-between.
I am learning to keep the ambition without making the ambition every free moment of my time.
Does anyone else struggle with this? I would love to hear from you!
Sincerely, Shannon
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